The Right Answer is Not Always Easy. Our Exciting Weekend Turned to Tears.

Something we had been looking forward to for more than two years, finally came, and instead of smiles and joy it was days of anxiety and tears. It was one of the hardest weekends we have had as a family.

Caleb has been on the list for a service dog for years. This was something he expressed interest in around 9-years old and we supported. We did an initial meeting quite some time ago to understand what it means to have a service dog and for the organization to determine our family was a good fit. It was eye opening to learn more about the commands that the service dog could do and to recognize that this would be Caleb’s working dog, not just a family pet. We understood and agreed. That got us on the waiting list. We would check in periodically, but they reminded us this is a long process as they want to make sure the dog is the right match.

However, about a month ago we got the email that said they have a potential match for Caleb’s service dog. We were nervous but elated. This meant over the course of the two weeks, Caleb (with our help) would be going onsite to train with the dog. He went and never put up a fight. He was excited to spend time with the dog and then tested out on the last day so that we could take the service dog home.

On Thursday, Dan and I spent the day getting the house ready for the service dog. We organized the many items we purchased on Amazon and other various pet stores. We put up a gate so that Kitty could still get to her food and litter without doggie getting involved. We installed lattice under the deck so that the dog wouldn’t get under there and to fully fence it in. We lowered our fence to make it escape proof. We researched plants we had in our yard to ensure they weren’t toxic. We did it all so that we would be able to welcome this dog with open arms.

So on Friday morning, the sweetest and most precious yellow lab, Shirley, arrived at our house to live with our family and be Caleb’s new service dog. Caleb waited at the window until she arrived and couldn’t wait to be able to take Shirley on her first walk in our neighborhood.

Shirley is 3-years old and has been trained to be working when she is with Caleb and off duty the other times, so otherwise, just a cute doggie. It’s an interesting dynamic because service dogs need enough energy to do their commands, but also provide a sense of calm for when they are working. Shirley had A LOT of energy and it was challenging for that energy to meld into our household, but we were committed to the task.

Meanwhile, Kitty is extremely skeptical, but mostly doing okay. Until, Shirley and I came in from a walk and she was so excited to play with Kitty, who was not one bit interested. I’ve never seen a reaction like this from Kitty. Her eyeballs nearly came out of her head, she ran as fast as she could into the pet gate that she didn’t know was there and when finally through the gate threw herself down the stairs. That was the last time we saw Kitty until late that night when we finally found her (we looked for many hours) hiding looking as if she never wanted to come back out. That was the start of the stress and anxiety.

Come Saturday, I caught a glimpse of her early in the morning, but then the kids wanted to hold and see Kitty (like they always do) and I couldn’t find her. I looked for a few hours and tried to downplay it, but I started to worry. Although all research said let Kitty be and she will eventually come out, the research doesn’t know that we have two kids who are obsessed with their Kitty who is always hanging around and providing joy to two little wheelchair bound boys.

We continued the search and with every hour that we couldn’t find Kitty, the worry heightened. The boys were sobbing for hours and my heart was racing while tears flowed and I searched. At one point we all went in the basement and just hung out with the lights off for a good two hours to see if she would come out, but she didn’t. More tears.

Worst of all, Caleb is all the sudden feeling responsible for bringing Shirley home and causing so much stress in our house. We brought Shirley out for her training session he needs to do with her (15 mins, 2x/day) and he could barely make it to the sidewalk before he broke down. He couldn’t perform the training and all the sudden felt so much pressure to do his homework with Shirley. You could see the joy he felt while training Shirley dissipate and instead he felt overwhelmed. He was sad, Dunky was sad, I was sad and Dan, well, he was still in shock that this animal dynamic (with a Kitty he never wanted and now adores) was quite literally ruining our weekend.

We finally found Kitty after about 9 hours of on and off (mostly on) searching. She was hiding in the back of a drawer in a tool bench, scared out of her mind.

Sunday I took the boys out to lunch and had some really hard conversations but also did not want Caleb to feel pressure that he has to have this service dog we thought we all wanted. He cried while he talked about how he didn’t think it was the right thing. Even 15-minute sessions with Shirley felt like a daunting task to him. I was so proud of him.

I took Shirley for a long walk and cried the entire time. It was almost my grieving period of knowing that Shirley wasn’t going to be in our family. But then I felt at peace and knew we were doing the right thing.

Dan has been so amazing through all of this reminding us that Shirley has been trained to be a service dog and there is someone that deserves her as this amazingly trained service dog.

Thank you Can Do Canines for all of your dedication that goes into this business and for helping families that can benefit from service dogs.

Shirley, you will never be forgotten. You are truly an amazing and beautiful dog and your forever home is so blessed to have you, just as we were for a few short days.

The right answer is not usually the easy answer.